Combine the powers of dad humor, preteen comebacks and a devil-may-care attitude.
Predictable, consistent and orderly are not adjectives one would typically use to describe Tesla CEO Elon Musk. However, self-assured, impulsive and, often, preteen-ish wouldn’t be too far off. Musk uses Twitter as his personal battleground and oyster. It’s where he dumps his deepest and darkest stock-market-triggering thoughts. Once, he even acknowledged, “My Twitter is pretty much complete non-sense at this point.” Though he’s not wrong, it is this “nonsense” that costs the world a pretty penny while also keeping him popular and relevant. His nearly 63 million followers are a testament to that.
So, if you want to up your Twitter game like Musk, here’s our breakdown of his usual tweeting patterns:
Found friends online? Let them run your business for a day
There’s no better way to turn internet strangers into lifelong friends than by letting them make crucial business decisions for you and your investors. After allegations that billionaires, like Musk, avoid their taxes by claiming “unrealized gains”, Musk explained that the only way for him to pay taxes is by selling stocks because that’s the only salary he gets. After that, he asked his internet friends—as one does—if he should sell 10% of his Tesla stock as taxes. Nearly 60% of people responded “yes”, following which Musk kept his promise and started selling his stocks. Subsequently, Tesla shares fell (minor hiccup that didn’t sit well with the investors), but oh well, at least he still had his friends. And at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
Get hands on with customer service
When a Twitter user tweeted to Musk saying that he was facing a “500 server error” when trying to connect to his Tesla, Musk very promptly—within three minutes—responded saying “Checking…”. Is this the fastest customer service response anyone has ever received? Possibly. Will this make the other managers’ blood boil? We can assume so.
What’s more? After five hours, Musk came back with an explanation for what went wrong, too! Netizens were super impressed with this proactive spirit and probably plan on contacting him for every complaint. Departing from the “Let me talk to the manager of this establishment” culture, Twitter users like a manager who is always available for a quick and impromptu chat.
Reinforce your CEO style
What does Musk value when hiring new employees? Bullet points. In October 2021, when his companies were hiring new employees, he tweeted, “Sorry if we’ve been too dumb to respond to you. Please cite evidence of exceptional ability in bullet points. Nothing else matters.” As for what constitutes exceptional ability, only Musk knows.
Practice your comebacks on old senators
Remember that viral photo of Senator Bernie Sanders sitting cross-legged and cross-armed, wearing oversized mittens and a large brown coat? It was transposed across a myriad images—a still from Game of Thrones, sitting beside Anna Wintour during a fashion show (and disapproving of everything), sitting on the moon and much more. You’d think the trolling would have been enough; however, Sanders had yet to encounter Musk. When Sanders tweeted publicly, “We must demand that the extremely wealthy pay their fair share. Period,” Musk eloquently responded to his tweet, saying, “I keep forgetting that you’re still alive.” And he didn’t stop at that. Like a feisty Black Friday sales shopper who refuses to leave without the discounted boots, he added, “Want me to sell more stock, Bernie? Just say the words…” What would happen if Sanders did say “the words”? We wouldn’t know.
Refine your dad jokes
In November 2021, realizing his true calling, Musk tweeted, “I aspire to comedy.” To be frank, he could make a great career out of it—at least online. However, he would need to tone down the dad jokes. In August 2021, he shared this image and tweeted, “Don’t worry, the situation is under control.”
Another time, he shared the image of a projector and fan and said, “Time to stop projecting & cool off”.
If these made you roll your eyes, same. But, he is a dad of seven, so we suppose this is expected.
Then, refine your immature teenager jokes
Mastered the art of the dad joke? Then move on to Musk’s secondary specialty: immature teen jokes. Here’s one to inspire you:
“Due to inflation 420 has gone up by 69”—Get it? 4/20, the marijuana holiday? And 69, the sex position? Yep. It’s just the kind of joke to make the neighborhood boys think you’re cool, just an absolute blast freezer. (P.S. Some investors did believe that the tweet was code for bigger things in the investing world. But then again, it’s Musk, so who really knows?)
Here’s another one: “Am thinking of starting [a] new university: Texas Institute of Technology and Science” Abbreviated: TITS. Its unique selling proposition? “Epic merch”. You get it.
Piss off your partner
Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do, even if that means pissing off your partner—or at least that’s the motto Musk lives by. In May 2020, he tweeted, “I am selling almost all physical possessions. Will own no house.” After about an hour, another tweet followed, “My gf @Grimezsz is mad at me.” We can just imagine him chuckling at his first tweet by himself, then being hit in the head with a flying pan and being asked to explain himself. Honestly, we would be mad too.
Give a creative shoutout to your brand once in a while
Gone are the days of mentioning your brand name in a strategic and promotional fashion. Instead, like Musk, just keep it easy and trendy, like he did with Doge coins when he tweeted/sang: “Baby Doge, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
Baby Doge, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
Baby Doge, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo,
Baby Doge”
Is the baby shark song now stuck in your head too? We empathize.
Header Image by Flickr
